What If You Don't Have to Know What's Next?

I think one of the questions that follows us most as we get older is: so what's next? When you're a kid, everything seems to come in a clear order — school, university, a job, moving out, finding someone, getting married. As if life were a list of steps you just tick off as you go. But what happens when you reach one of those points and you have no idea what the next one is?

That's usually when the feeling of being behind kicks in. You watch your friends land jobs, move cities, travel, fall in love, start projects, or get things you want too, and it's easy to start wondering what you're doing with yourself. Like everyone else got a manual and you forgot to ask for one.

But lately I've been thinking that not knowing what's next doesn't mean you're lost. Maybe you're just figuring out what you want.

I've changed my mind about plenty of things. I've wanted different lives, had different dreams, pictured futures I don't necessarily want anymore. And I used to read that as being confused, or not having enough clarity, or taking too long to decide.

Now I think it also counts as growing.

It would be strange to have exactly the same dreams at twenty-four that you had at eighteen. We change friends, jobs, cities, interests, priorities — even the idea we hold of ourselves. So why do we expect the future to stay put while we're changing all the time?

Maybe we don't need a five-year plan. Maybe knowing the next step is enough for now. Sending that email, starting that project, saving for that trip, going back to something you enjoy, or just giving yourself time to work out what you want.

Because maybe life isn't about reaching a point where you can finally say “I know exactly what I'm doing.” It might be about learning to feel okay even while you don't.

That's something I'm still learning.

I don't have to have every answer right now. I don't have to know exactly where I'll be in a few years, or have a perfectly defined idea of who I want to be. I can change my mind, take one road and later find I want another. I can keep moving without knowing exactly where I'm headed.

So if you're in a stretch where you don't know what's next, you're probably not behind.

You might just be between chapters.

And that's okay.

You don't have to have the next page written to start reading it. 🤍

See you around. 😊