What If the Dream Changes?

When you're a kid, one question follows you everywhere: what do you want to be when you grow up?

And the answer is almost always something close to home. A doctor, a dancer, an actress, an astronaut, a singer — whatever's inside your world, whatever you've seen, whatever catches your eye or makes sense to you right then.

Because when we're small, our dreams are built out of what we already know.

But what happens when we grow up and actually try those things? What happens when we find out the thing we wanted so badly wasn't really for us? Or when we realize we do like it — just not the way we pictured?

I don't think we talk much about how strange it feels when a dream changes.

Because as kids we assume that one day we'll find the thing, and once we do, all that's left is to go get it. As if dreams were destinations, and our only job was to figure out which one was ours.

Most of the time, it doesn't work like that.

Sometimes you arrive somewhere you spent years calling your dream, and realize you don't want to be there anymore. Sometimes you get the thing you worked so hard for and still feel like something's missing. And sometimes you just meet new things, new people, new versions of yourself, and end up wanting something else entirely.

I think that's okay.

Changing your dream doesn't mean you failed at the old one. It means you changed too.

The person who wanted something at ten didn't have the history, the experiences, the fears or the wants you carry now. And the person you are today probably won't be exactly the same one ten years from here.

So why do we expect our dreams to stay put?

Maybe part of growing up is letting yourself change direction. Dropping something you're only chasing because you once said you wanted it, and starting to ask what you want now.

It can be frightening.

Changing course means admitting you don't know exactly where you're headed. It means leaving behind an idea that once lit you up, and building another one from nothing.

But there's something lovely in that too.

Because some dreams don't show up in childhood. Some arrive later — when you know yourself better, when you try things, when you get it wrong, when something doesn't go how you hoped, and somewhere in the middle of all that you find a part of yourself you hadn't met.

Maybe growing up isn't about pulling off exactly the dream you had as a kid.

Maybe it's about having the nerve to admit when that dream stopped being yours — and letting yourself build a new one.