I Don't Like Change

I've been through more changes this month than I can count, and if you catch me in the wrong mood I'll just tell you I'm tired.

I know I've spent the last few posts talking about how stepping back is sometimes how you get your running start. But I'll be honest — I'm getting buried. Enough that I still haven't finished unpacking, I'm in the middle of a hundred things at once, and I haven't made it to the gym a single time. I'm still paying for it, and my mom thinks that's hilarious.

I also know I'm supposed to be a little kinder to myself, and to my head — my psychologist is already looking into whether I have ADHD. But I can't always stop myself from wanting to do it all at once. I want everything sorted. I want to feel like I'm keeping up with my own life, and then, finally, to rest.

With this much going on, though, I can't see when that's supposed to happen. Every time I get a bit of peace, something shifts again.

Anyway. These past few months have been some of the strangest. And even though I know not everything has to be solved today, it's hard to remind myself of that. I suppose part of it is learning to be patient, to breathe, and to look a little further ahead at where we're trying to get to — even when it feels like we're going in circles.

Maybe today I don't have some big takeaway, or a lesson to pass on. Today I'm just tired, overwhelmed, and trying to find the rhythm of a life that won't hold still.

And I think it's okay to say that out loud, too.

Sorry this one's short. Today, feeling overwhelmed got the better of me. :(

See you around. Sending you a hug. 🤍